Perfectionism

Quirks + Beauty Marks

Quirks + Beauty Marks

You know how when a famous, rich, and/or powerful person is odd, they’re often described as eccentric, whereas an average person with exactly the same habits might be described as weird or strange? Well, our theory is that when we like our perceived imperfections or they don’t bother us too  much, we describe them as quirks or idiosyncrasies instead of imperfections or flaws. Same exact thing with a different name and a completely different meaning, energy, and connotation.

2018: Year in Recovering Perfectionist Review

2018: Year in Recovering Perfectionist Review

Well, fam, we made it! Here we are, on the very last day of 2018, and there’s no way we’d rather spend it than with you. 🥳 Welcome to part one of our two part series reviewing the year that was and planning for the year to come. Let’s begin by taking stock of all the goodness and learning lessons of the past year to help us make the most of the next one.

Holiday Survival Guide for Perfectionists

Holiday Survival Guide for Perfectionists

You know we’re alllllllll about self-care around here, fam, and this time of year calls for an extra compassionate self-care plan. With the year coming to an end, winter upon us, and the holiday season in full swing for those who celebrate, we all need a little nudge to amp up the self-love. So, we’re here to share our survival guide for getting through this season or any season that’s more challenging than most.

The Trap of Worthiness Seeking

The Trap of Worthiness Seeking

What makes us worthy? Is it our positive qualities + traits, how much money we have in the bank, our job title, how productive we are, what others think of us, how much we weigh, what we look like, how big our house is?

Most of us spend our lives chasing these external metrics and alleged barometers of worth. But what if not a single one of those things could increase or decrease our worthiness in this world? What if worthiness was an inside job? True fact: It is. ✅

Wanna Fight??

Wanna Fight??

While some of us are drawn to conflict like a magnet, most of us recovering perfectionists and people pleasers avoid discord and fights at all costs. The mere concept of disagreement has us feeling overwhelmed and wanting to run full speed in the opposite direction. We don’t know what to do, what to say, how to keep from crying -- or worse, laughing -- at the most inappropriate times.

Expectation Hangover

Expectation Hangover

Productivity, income, career, weight + body shape, relationships… We perfectionists and recovering perfectionists are pros at setting unrealistically high expectations for ourselves and others in each of those areas and more. Living with high expectations is practically a perfectionist superpower. Whether applied to ourselves or those around us, our over the top expectations inevitably lead to disappointment, judgment, criticism, and anger. These expectations can cut down our self-esteem and self-worth, sabotage our relationships, and stand in the way of getting what we truly want.

Proud Imperfectionist with Ryan Glassmoyer

Proud Imperfectionist with Ryan Glassmoyer

It’s no surprise that we talk a lot around here about what it means to be a perfectionist, so we’re switching things up today with our guest, Ryan Glassmoyer, who is a coach, workshop facilitator, and self-proclaimed proud imperfectionist. And because anxiety and perfectionism are closely linked, Ryan schools us on using self-love, personal responsibility, and mindfulness to build new habits, reduce + manage our anxiety, and turn down the volume on the chaos in our lives.

Mr. Grey Will See You Now

Mr. Grey Will See You Now

Uncertainty, unpredictability, ambiguity, doubt… More than the goriest horror movie, these gray area situations can strike fear in heart of many a recovering perfectionist. 😱 As perfectionists, we tend to gravitate toward structure and rules as a way to keep ourselves “safe,” and our preference for certainty can suck us deep into the trap of black and white thinking.

The Upside of Perfectionism

The Upside of Perfectionism

Perfectionism clearly gets a bad rap around here at Middle Finger to Perfection, and we tend to talk a lot about the struggles and downsides of perfectionism, people pleasing, and worthiness seeking, but are there good things about being a perfectionist? Today, Ashley and I shine some light on the positive side effects and hidden benefits of perfectionism. Welcome to the perfectionist hype hour! 🙌

“Perfect” Relationships are Toxic

“Perfect” Relationships are Toxic

No matter how much our rational brain knows that “perfect” relationships are a mythical unicorn (i.e., they don’t exist 🦄😭), our perfectionist brain inevitably tries to convince us that if we work really hard and do allllllll the right things, we’ll be able to ride that unicorn off into the sunset. But relationships are tough enough. We certainly don’t need toxic perfectionism creeping in and eating away at them.

Epic Fail

Epic Fail

Failure is such a freaking loaded term, and so many of us recovering perfectionists live in fear of it, desperately trying to avoid it at all costs. But in running from failure, we rob ourselves of so much goodness + joy along the way. Does failure really have to be such a bad thing? Is there a way for us to stop demonizing it...and maybe even start to embrace it? 😱 In this mini episode, we explore the concept of reframing failure (and success) and learning to see it as information, feedback, and maybe even a good thing.